Travel Light
>> 4/28/08
When packing to go to Africa, people were consulted who had made similar trips in the past. They all offered the same advice.
Travel light.
Narrowing down which personal items to take for the 17 day journey took some time. The task was pursued ruthlessly until the essentials fit in a carry on sized duffle bag and a backpack.
One of the most difficult tasks in life's journey is learning what should be taken with us and what should be left behind. The challenge is to discern which memories are necessary for our desired destinations and which are not. Some remembrances are healthy and helpful. Others are harmful and debilitating.
Some memories must be allowed to fall into the abyss of forgetfulness as they form obstacles to our personal progress. Unless they are relegated to the past they will become a continual burden. We cannot embrace the future unencumbered if they are carried with us. They will only obscure our pathway.
On the other hand, many aspects of our past life should be remembered. Some memories contribute to the person we are (identity) and are becoming (personal development). Past experiences form stepping stones in the present which aid us as we move into the future. Through the process of remembering we grow to realize our potential. Potential speaks of what is possible (but as yet unachieved) and therefore always points us into some desirable future.
Discerning between memories that are constructive and those that are destructive is an art that must be cultivated over time. The process is not a simple matter of forgetting the negative memories and keeping the positive ones.
Some memories of past mistakes only leave us feeling defeated and inadequate. They haunt us and leave us treading water on the sea of disappointment. On the other hand, memories of other mistakes serve to teach us valuable lessons. Though they are not altogether pleasant, they must be remembered if we are to learn from them. Otherwise we will be destined to repeat them.
Even good memories can be a hindrance to attaining present and future goals. At times we get caught up celebrating past events in an endless loop of memory. Like the movie Groundhog Day we relive the same treasured events over and over again. This prevents us from embarking on the future in a productive way.
In my mind a backward glance to pay homage to past success is healthy. We get into trouble when that backward glance becomes a gaze. We cannot fully experience the present or future if our attention is captivated by the past.
It’s all a matter of learning what to leave behind and what to take with us. Knowing what we need to remember and what we need to forget doesn't come easy.
But traveling light has its advantages.
We should think about,
(Repeat)
5 comments:
There are so many nuggets packed into this post that I'm going to have to copy it, read, and re-read. One of the most potent thoughts for me is "We get into trouble when that backward glance becomes a gaze". So true!
Travelling light does have its advantages.
Thanks Craig!
Some memories are burned into your soul, and it takes a focused and daily effort to set them aside. They are there whether you want them or not and the challenge comes in realizing that they are with you, but that it doesn't mean you have to look at them.
Kind of like checked baggage that you pull behind you and send to the belly of the plane, while the essential and precious goes on your back and into the cabin with you. The checked baggage is waiting when you get to the next destination, and you have to pick it up and tow it behind you again.
Our memories are recordings of the events in our lives that helped us become who we are today. How we reacted to those events, and how we handle the memories of them now tells us how we have (or have not) grown.
I can say that choosing to leave memories behind is a difficult task and much easier said than done. The mind is powerful, and often carries us to places we don't want to be. It can take constant vigilance to keep that from happening, and that vigilance can be exhausting.
It's not that I disagree with what you wrote, it's more that I think it is not an easy thing to achieve.
This post is so timely...My life for the past 9 months or so has been quite turbulent and painful, but I'm finding my way to the end of the tunnel now. The light is in full view.
A friend of mine recently asked me to share details about the happenings and it occurred to me that the details are so much less important than the lessons learned because of them. The details don't deserve the energy it takes to explain them again. The importance of those details are the bricks that build the foundation of who I am today. Each detail is one truth, or brick of the foundation that brings me strength to weather the next storm. Lamenting the details turns those bricks to quicksand and weakens the resolve to get through the next trial. It's easy to get 'stuck' in the quicksand. But if we choose to keep the lessons, and lose the details, it is the glue that holds the bricks in place.
It doesn't matter how terribly things have been or looked or all the 'bad' things that have happened. Who am I today because of them? That's what is important.
Good stuff! :)
Thank you:)
L&W – Understanding the relationship between our past, present and future is important as a means of helping us transition well between one stage of life and the next. We can’t change the past. A preoccupation with it doesn’t contribute positively to our present or future. Better to ponder what is and what can be.
BOP – You know of course that it would be perfectly fine if you disagreed with me. And I think you may, at least a little.
I prefaced and concluded the post with an acknowledgement of the difficulty of the process. So I don’t mean to say that deciding what to keep and what to leave behind is easy.
But to use your analogy, sometimes we’d be better off to check the baggage into the belly of the plane and then leave the airport at our next destination without stopping by baggage claim.
For me it’s not so much denying that those burdensome memories are part of our past as it is coming to a decision that we are done with them because they are unproductive. We just don’t want or need to drag them around any more. They can remain behind (in the past where they belong) while we are freed to enjoy the journey ahead.
That decision can be made because, as you state, the mind is powerful.
She and I – I’m glad that you are on your way to a better place.
I think you are right. Revisiting the details isn’t always productive. When people ask that details be recounted I wonder if they are motivated by concern or curiosity. There’s a great difference between the two.
Learning the lessons the details can teach us is the more important thing. And maybe we’d have an easier time letting go of the memories that weigh us down while holding on to those that inspire and motivate us if we focused on the lessons rather than the details.
We often have difficulty letting go of burdensome past memories because (1) we have not forgiven ourselves for failing to live up to our own expectations, (2) we have not forgiven ourselves for failing to live up to the expectations of others or (3) we have not forgiven others for failing to live up to our expectations. But in the end we are all just humans and none of us is perfect. So large doses of grace and mercy are in order.
I doubt that any of us live a life completely free of regrets. We all make mistakes. But we need to learn the lessons from those mistakes and move on to better decision making in the present. That’s the way we will get to a better future. Not by revisiting past shortcomings on a regular basis.
Learning the lessons empowers us to make something constructive in the present from the negatives of the past. That’s so much more productive than letting the negatives of the past have power over our present.
You seem well on your way to learning that lesson.
Olga – You’re welcome :)
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